Working on Family Life
(Based on The Work of Byron Katie found in the book Loving What Is.)
Rev. Jan Chase
A Nun, Grading Papers
(CAN YOU IMAGINE THE NUN SITTING AT HER DESK GRADING THESE PAPERS, ALL THE WHILE
TRYING TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE AND MAINTAIN HER COMPOSURE! )
PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST.
KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING 25 STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE REWRITTEN BY CHILDREN.
THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLINGS HAVE BEEN LEFT IN...
- THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
- LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
- THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
- THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
- THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
- ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY, WHICH IS
ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
- CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.
Kids are cute when they get it wrong.
However, most of life is not so cute when we get it wrong. And since we did not come with Instructions for Life, most of us get it wrong. That is where religious institutions come in because they have some guidance for people to help clarify values so we don’t suffer like we might otherwise.
In Unity we talk about ONENESS. For many that is a difficult concept because we don’t look like one, we look separate, act separate, divided at the skin.
Yet what if we found out that much of what we experience “out there” in other people is really projected from “in here” within us. In other words, others serve as mirrors for what we struggle with in side ourselves.
There was a time in my life when I was drawn to people who were religious leaders or becoming one. It took me a while to understand that I was drawing that because I was drawn to that, I was becoming a religious leader.
Now I seem to find my self drawn to authors and to community organizers and I wonder if this is another growth step for me in the future.
Someone said, “What you see, is what you are.”
Richard Bach in his book Illusions says our souls choose this earthly journey for 2 reasons: for spiritual growth and to have fun.
One of the most intense classrooms we have is usually in our homes with our families.
We have been working with “The Work” of Byron Katie from her book Loving What Is. Byron writes: “ …the teachers we need most are the people we’re living with now. Our spouses, parents, and children are the clearest masters we could hope for. Again and again, they will show us the truth we don’t want to see, until we see it.”
Katie says that when people ask her if she had a religion before she has a change of heart, it was, “My children should pick up their socks….and I was totally devoted to it even though it never worked. Then one day, after The Work was alive in me, I realized that it simply wan’t true. The reality was that day after day, they left their socks on the floor, after all my years of preaching and nagging and punishing them. I saw that I was the one who should pick up the socks if I wanted them picked up. …Who had the problem? It was me. It was my thought about the socks on the flood that had made my life difficult, not the socks themselves. And who had the solution? Again, me. I realized that I could be right, or I could be free. It took just a few moments for me to pick up the socks, without many thought of my children,. And an amazing thing began to happen. I realized that I loved picking up their socks. It was for me, not for them. It stopped being a chore in that moment and it became a pleasure to pick them up and see the uncluttered floor. Eventually, they noticed my pleasure and began to pick up their socks on their own, without my having to say a thing.”
Katie goes on to say: “Our parents, our children, our spouses , and our friends will continue to press every button we have, until we realize what it is that we don’t want to know about ourselves, yet. They will point us to our freedom every time.”
Did you hear about the dentist and the manicurist that got married. They fought tooth and nail.
Some of us have been working with “Judge Your Neighbor” Worksheets. We have been able to look at how we FIGHT with REALITY and EACH OTHER in our minds and sometimes in reality.
I invite all of you to stand to do a little experiment with me.
Think of someone you judge, some one who really gets you going.
Then think about a posture you’d like to be in to express your upset with him or her. (Threatening, scolding, sassing, showing, showing off, ridiculing, …whatever comes up.)
Then imagine that person in front of you and assume that posture. Let it be a petty as possible. (stick out your tongue, close your ears, turn away, attempt to strangle, etc)
Then drop that and find a partner.
Number off 1 and 2
Number 1 assume that posture towards your partner. Notice what you feel.
Number 2 assume a posture towards your partner that reacts or responds with that posture.
Notice what you both feel.
Now Number 2 assumes the posture s/he had originally, but this time towards his partner. Partner 1 now assumes a posture that reacts or responds to that posture.
Notice what you both feel.
Now Number 2 assume another posture in relation to your partner’s posture.
Now Number 1 What do you want to do?
Share What you observed about this exercise.
When we fight with reality it is like fighting with a tar baby, it gets messier and messier, like Katie’s fight about socks with her kids.
As you look at how our EGO’s look at reality you see that they can be very controlling and petty as well as judgmental. Our EGO’s also like to fight with REALITY, a fight that is impossible to win.
That doesn’t mean that we cannot help change things. But if we are just complaining about how awful something or some one is, will that create change? NO!
Junior had just received his brand new driver's license. To celebrate the special day, the whole family went out to the driveway and climbed into the car for his first official drive. Dad went immediately to the back seat, right behind the newly licensed driver.
"I'll bet you are back there to get a change of scenery, right? After all these months of sitting up here, teaching me how to drive?" Junior said to his dad.
"Nope!" said dad. "I'm going to sit back here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me for sixteen years!"
Payback is what we want to do. Show them!
Yet what does this get us? More and More pain and suffering.
Loving What is is filled with stories of Katie helping people to see the Truth beyond their old judgements and ways of thinking and being. Helping they learn not to fight REALITY but ENJOY it.
It takes unlearning a lot that we have assumed about relationships. But it brings us into independence and freedom and choice.
I’d like Jim Jensen read the part of a young man who needs his family’s approval. And I’d like a volunteer to read the part of Katie in this interaction. (Loving What Is P 67 -79)
As they go through this reading, look for the questions and the turn around. They may not come in the same order or the same wording.
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
• Turn it Around 2 or 3 ways!
Is what we are thinking the truth or did our Left Hemisphere just make it up?
Are we listening to our own lies and fighting with what is, or is there a better way of being in and responding to the world within us and around us?
Posted on Sun, January 29, 2012
by Jan Chase